2023-10-18
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In my effort to have something more resembling a respectable human life, I've decided to start blogging.
A lot of people seem to complain about modern blogs being horrible profit-seeking nonsense, and I'm pretty terrible at seeking profits on my own, so yelling into the void seems like a reasonable public good, here.

That said, a lot of my life recently has been very number-go-up focused, so my first few notes here are likely to look very productivity-porn, if ineffective at the same. Here is the current life status:

Not-dying-young:
 - 2-3x-per-week jog now includes a full mile of running (out of a 1.66 mile circuit). PB 1.05 miles, most recent 1.01.
    - Started also keeping track of total time this week. PB is 21:16, most recent 21:20.
 - We are ~30 of 45 on decline push-ups (PB 35 I think)
 - We are something like 40/45 on the current difficulty of inverted rows.
 - We haven't actually completed a full set of squats in multiple weeks. I guess you could call it 15/45 on +40lb squats... but that's not a real attempt.
 - Weight continues to oscillate between 220 and 225 lbs, as it has since late June.
    - We're not actually trying to lose weight, as long as we stay the same weight and continue to get stronger/faster/longer-running.
    - A significant part of what did let us lose in May/June was distracting ourself from hunger by walking more, and forcibly walking to every restaurant or grocery store for every meal while staying intentional about portion sizes. This could be repeatable but not given the below.

Work:
 - Fine? Leadership is actively trying to prevent me from careerboying, which has been annoying given how much money is floating around. I've handed a new leader a knife and turned my back, and we won't know if he stabbed for another 9ish months. 
 - I'm still on track to make another $12k in bonuses in the next month or so, barring disaster. The nature of the job means that all of my problems are fake problems, regardless of my own stress level.

Home:
 - Successfully removed another trashbag of kitten-soiled linens this week.
 - No other cleaning, but part of me realized that I can buy new bedsheets and trashcans. I got two of each! Homeownership continues to be completely mystifying.

Goof Shit:
 - The body is no longer demanding alcohol! July through September was weird, and I'm glad that's done.
 - HSBG elo is 5k, and I'm not confident that I want to study the game enough to get any better. If I can wean off of this and start doing a real thing instead, I'd call that a win.
 - 2000 wins in Zachtronics Fortune's Foundation. My winrate is still ~30%, as it has been since around win 200. Probably time to call that a wrap.

Other projects:
 - Atrocious! I don't even know what I would chip away on, if I were in a position to do that.
 - Drawing is back to the place where my head hurts before I even put lines on paper. If the robots get much better I might just let them win on this.
 - I made a couple attempts to "just start writing" some fiction, but... read this post. 
 - Part of me has been eyeing a tumblr post that I can't find anymore - they essentially considered a synthesis of Disco Elysium's psychotic inner-monologue trees with Vancian magic-spells-as-living-demons-made-from-math, in which the spells you prepare that day argue with each other for dominance over your psyche as you do some fairly mundane washed-up wizard shit.
   - This feels accomplishable with Renpy and Bing Image Generator, except for the fact that I need an interesting enough story to tell under that context and good enough writing skills to sell it.
 - We did successfully ditch the pretense of writing more code for this file server, and just wrote this post into a Markdown file. We can add markdown rendering support _after_ there are two posts.
 - While digging up the fedora laptop to work on this post I found the island settlement game that was still in progress. That felt exciting 6 months ago but I'm not confident that I'd actually ship something interesting enough to spend more of my life on it.
 - Part of me wants to make some basic HTML5 / canvas-based games. I've had a work project where I was able to make some fairly nice drag-and-drop interface stuff using `<canvas>`, and I'd like to ship an interactive project that looks nice, quickly
 - On the other hand, I already have enough brain damage from working with Vulkan that I can probably learn "real" WebGPU stuff and ship an "actual" thing.
 - The real thing I want is to be able to render some nice vector stuff on a GPU, and then learn to make nice vector stuff >.>

This was reasonably cathartic, though it's probably not smart to post this given that some coworkers know about the personal site. Regardless, we're committed to Saturdayposting. Hopefully there will be something less bleak to share.